every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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