he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
