I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
