okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
