yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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