i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
