I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
