he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
