Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize