what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
