I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize