All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
