This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
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Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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