at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
God I need to hump something, right now.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
