theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
