i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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