Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
