Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
