I want to have your abortion
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He did a backflip because drugs
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
