Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
