Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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