I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
