My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
