Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
