It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
