Hey man sorry I got all grabby
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
