Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just invented taco cereal.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
