It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
