I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
