yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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