just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize