3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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