So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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