Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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