I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
