It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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