Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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