So drunk its hurt
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
