You made me cry and you don't even care
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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