Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
