So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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