I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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