I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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