She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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