On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
