The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
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The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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