We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
