I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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