Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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