I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
