He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.