yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
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Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
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She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.