You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
