Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
