the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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