No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
