Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
